It’s Not Me They’re Coming to See
July 2, 2026 | by Dorothy Rosby
When I moved to the Black Hills many years ago I became popular. Ever since, I’ve been entertaining friends and family, in-laws and outlaws from across the country. It’s like I won the lottery except I didn’t get any cash prize. I’ve always suspected it might not be me they’re coming to see.
I moved here after a short stint in northwestern Iowa, but I’m a South Dakota native, so when my guests quiz me, I do know the basics: South Dakota’s state drink is milk; you shouldn’t pet buffalo; and there are four great leaders on Mount Rushmore: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and one of the Roosevelts—and it’s not Eleanor.
But I’m no expert. When visitors ask harder questions like, when did the Custer expedition come through or wasn’t the Black Hills once covered by an ancient sea, I have to plead ignorance. “I’m not sure. Maybe that was while I was living in Iowa.”
Guests often try to press me into service as a tour guide. They don’t realize I get turned around getting in and out of my shower. I divert attention from my lack of skill by shaming them. “What? You don’t know how to use the GPS on your phone yet?”
I don’t even feel that competent as a hostess. A gracious hostess is ready for company. She has food in the refrigerator, clean sheets on the beds and vacuum cleaner tracks in her carpet. There are days all you’ll find in my refrigerator are carryout boxes and a jug of cold water. And the tracks in my carpet aren’t always from my vacuum cleaner.
I feel terrible when I give my company the wrong directions to the Needles Highway or feed them out of the same pan of lasagna all week—and it isn’t even homemade. I can’t help but be a little surprised that they keep coming back. I’m afraid someday my insecurity is going to get the better of me and I’ll blurt out the question that’s been bothering me since I moved here all those years ago. “Why didn’t you ever visit me when I lived in Iowa?”
Dorothy Rosby is a blogger and humor columnist whose column appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She’s the author of four books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books in Rapid City and on Amazon.