Cleaning Out the Hope Chest
October 2, 2026 | by Dorothy Rosby
I have three pairs of black pants, all of which I like, and three pairs of grey pants, none of which I like. I have a tee-shirt from every event I’ve participated in since seventh grade and a V-neck sweater I received as a gift in 1981. Mostly I wear just one pair of the black pants and one pair of the grey pants—never at the same time. I rarely wear tee-shirts, and I haven’t worn the sweater in twenty years. I bet you wonder why I keep it. So do I.
Apparently, I’m typical. I read that average Americans wear only ten to twenty percent of their clothing. Our closets are like giant hope chests: storage for clothing items we hope will fit again someday. Or be in style again someday. Or learn to mend itself someday.
We could turn our bedrooms into thrift stores for people our size—and all the sizes we’ve ever been. Or we could rid ourselves of the eighty percent we never wear. My fashion consultant, Google, breaks it down into three steps.
Divide your clothing into four piles:
The Keep Pile: These are your favorites. And right off I have a problem. My favorites are never in my closet. They’re in the hamper, the laundry basket and the dryer. If it’s in my closet, it probably isn’t a favorite at all—and it could be more than forty years old.
The Trash Pile: These are the clothes you’re too embarrassed to donate. They’re faded, stretched out or full of holes. I suggest you use them as rags or leave them on the doorstep of a quilter you know. Then ring the doorbell and run.
My ancient sweater still looks great. They don’t make clothes that well anymore. I put it in the Keep Pile.
The Donate Pile: The experts say we should put all those items we haven’t worn in the past year into a pile for donating. I assume that also means any item we haven’t worn in the past twenty years. I move the sweater to the Donate Pile.
The Undecided Pile: Pack up the items you’re not sure about and put them out of sight. If you miss something you can go retrieve it, but otherwise donate the whole box after three months. I’ve actually tried this step before—unsuccessfully. I peeked before I donated the box and wound up welcoming a few pieces back like they were old friends. In one particular case, I welcomed back a friend I’ve known since 1981.
Return everything from the Keep Pile to your now spacious closet. One expert suggests putting them back in “clusters,” or groups of clothing that work together. This could shave a minute or two off decision time in the morning and also ensure that you’ll look well put together no matter what time you roll out of bed in the morning.
Now vow to maintain your newly cleaned and organized closet. As we’ve already established, when you get something new you should part with something old. Maybe the next time I get a new sweater, I’ll finally get rid of a certain old one.
Dorothy Rosby is a blogger and humor columnist whose column appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She’s the author of four books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books in Rapid City and on Amazon.